Wildly Entertaining Memoirs to Come

Back to Cali

Back to Cali Chronicles recounts my first year back in the golden state, 2011, living in the back of my SUV and joining with all these errant gals – in one form or another – for adventure. Shianna and Sara, Anna and Carina, Dex, Lilli Schwilli, Michelle and Victoria, Michelle and Kat – until one winged from beyond my wildest dreams did alight on my shoulder.

Bird Chronicles, subsequent, Aspie finds love in the form of the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen or even dreamed of, a deaf and mute actress/model from Canada I met one day when I was really stoned at the Starbucks on Ventura and Vineland – I fell in love, we lived together in the heart of Hollywood, we became brother and sister with even a little incest on the side. Only she was a mastermind con-artist – dun dun dun DUH! Beethoven sat straight up from his sarcophagus eterne. Thundering from the grave: “Get me a signed copy of Bird Chronicles.”

All the while performing improvs and open mics, really kinda meeting everyone around the LA scene and elsewhere (like up here in Santa Clarita, where Awesome lives! like Clovis and Santa Cruz and B-field and Visalia, Bishop, Auburn and rockin’ Rocklin, life has turned super-great since I returned to the Golden State! How did I get into the biggest premiere in Hollywood history, that for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, or to hobnob with the rich n famoso y muy rico too, three years in a row at the biggest Oscar parties in town? Like Night of 100 Stars! Or become a regular at Book Expo America and the LA Times Festival of Books, never paying a cent? Read it, and you won’t weep!